Relationships all have their ups and downs. When you’re in a healthy relationship, you feel a strong emotional connection and communicate well while maintaining your identity. However, being in a relationship like that takes a conscious effort from both partners.

In our society, we might think that to be in a “perfect relationship” means never fighting with your partner. In reality, things are more complicated. In healthy relationships, couples do fight. What’s most important is how conflict is handled.

It’s important for people to feel seen and heard in their relationships. Invalidation can be hurtful and damaging to your self-esteem. When your partner doesn’t validate you, it can also lead to breakdowns in communication and simmering resentment. If you’re struggling with a partner who doesn’t validate your feelings, here are a few ways to cope.

If you have an emotionally distant partner, you might struggle to get them to have deeper emotional conversations. They might avoid talking about their feelings or feel uncomfortable and defensive when you’re working through a conflict. In the long run, this can lead to resentment and frustration. To fix this, avoiding placing blame when discussing emotional conflicts is essential.

When problems come up, we want to fix them. But sometimes, conflict resolution means taking things slow. Enter the art of listening. Allowing space for emotions to unfold instead of jumping to fix things quickly can have a profound effect on emotional connections.

The Gottman Method is a form of therapy based on research by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. Dr. John Gottman’s long-term studies of couples have shown that people who stay together and people who get divorced show certain behaviors.

There are many approaches to couples and marriage counseling. If you’re in crisis, you might feel overwhelmed trying to figure out which one is best for you and your partner.

Do you feel yourself pushing your partner away even though you love them?