6 Tips for Helping a Child with Anxiety
Anxious moments are a natural part of life, even for children. But when anxiety gets overwhelming or doesn’t go away, it can affect their health, relationships, and ability to learn and grow. As a parent, caregiver, or educator, it’s natural to want to help. But since children often don’t have the words to express their anxiety, you might have a hard time understanding the root cause of their behavior.
Understanding how children experience and show anxiety as a form of distress is an important first step in helping them. Here are six practical tips to support a child dealing with anxiety.
1. Listen First, Solve Later
Start by simply listening to them. When a child expresses worry, resist the urge to jump in with reassurance or solutions right away. Instead, acknowledge their feelings with calm curiosity: “That sounds really scary,” or “I can see why that would make you nervous.”
Validating their emotions shows them they’re not alone and that their feelings are acceptable, even if their fears seem irrational. When a child feels heard, they’re more likely to open up, and that’s often the first step toward reducing anxiety.
2. Teach the Language of Emotions
Children may struggle to name what they’re feeling. Giving them words to describe their inner experiences helps them feel more in control. You can say things like, “It seems like your body feels jumpy—maybe that’s anxiety?” or “Are you feeling worried about what might happen?”
Books, feeling charts, and games can be useful tools to help children build emotional literacy. Over time, recognizing and naming emotions helps kids manage them more effectively.
3. Steer Clear of Avoidance
It’s natural to want to protect a child from situations that make them anxious, but too much avoidance can reinforce the fear. For example, if a child is nervous about going to a birthday party, skipping it might offer short-term relief, but it teaches the brain that avoiding anxiety is the safest choice.
Instead, try gentle exposure: break down challenging situations into manageable steps. Practice saying hello to one friend before expecting them to attend a large party. Celebrate their small successes and emphasize how brave they are.
4. Model Healthy Coping Behaviors
Children often look to adults to learn how to handle tough emotions. If they see you managing stress with deep breaths, self-talk, or a short walk, they’re more likely to try these strategies themselves.
Don’t be afraid to talk out loud about your own feelings in age-appropriate ways. For example, “I’m feeling a bit nervous about this meeting, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths to calm down.” This normalizes anxiety and demonstrates that it can be managed.
5. Practice Calming Strategies Together
Teaching calming techniques when a child is already upset often doesn’t work, since they’re in “fight or flight” mode and can’t access rational thinking. Instead, introduce these tools when your child is feeling safe and calm.
Try belly breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, visualizations, or mindfulness games. Practice regularly so that these techniques become second nature during anxious moments. Making it a fun part of your daily routine can also help reduce any resistance they have to learning them.
6. Know When to Seek Therapy
All kids experience fear and worry from time to time. But if anxiety is interfering with school, friendships, sleep, or daily activities, it might be time to talk to a therapist. Early support can make a significant difference. Schedule a consultation with us today to learn more about how we approach child anxiety therapy. Their treatment plan should include techniques that help kids understand the connection between thoughts, feelings, and actions.
