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3 Ways To Move On From Past Trauma For Healthier Relationships

Have you ever had something really bad happen to you that takes over everything good? Even when you have people who love you and a job that makes you happy, your past trauma interferes. Many traumatic experiences are hard to let go of like:

  • Past romantic relationships

  • Failures

  • Regrets

  • Upsetting or disturbing events

Traumatic experiences affect people differently. Some people can move on once they accept that painful experiences are a part of life. Then there are others where their traumatic experiences have a lasting effect on their mental health. Psychological trauma can be an emotional wound that stays with us when we experience deep embarrassment, loss, or danger.


Ruminating on traumatic events can be dangerous when it stops you from moving on with your life. Maybe that can be the result of a mental health disorder like depression, PTSD, OCD, or anxiety. They may also hold onto their thoughts to protect them from getting hurt the same way.


Here are three ways to help you let go of traumatic experiences to avoid them ruining your relationships and the rest of your life.


1. Create a Positive Mantra


Trauma can bring about a lot of negative thoughts. You could be feeling negative about the unfair situation you are in or even about yourself. Blaming or criticizing yourself is not going to make the situation better. It will just encourage more negative thoughts to occur. The way you talk to yourself will either help you move on or keep you in this traumatic state. Having a positive mantra during hard times can help reshape your thoughts.

For example, instead of telling yourself, "I cannot believe this happened to me," tell yourself something more positive. Say instead, "I am strong enough to get through this" or "Trauma takes a while to heal, but I can do it." Keep saying those thoughts to yourself whenever you experience a negative thought.


2. Practice Mindfulness


If you are struggling with ruminating thoughts, mindfulness exercises are the tools you need to focus on the present. When we practice being present, our pain has less control over us. Mindfulness can be done anywhere at any time. If your negative thoughts are taking over when you have company, ask to step outside and meditate for five minutes.


Mindfulness is all about keeping our senses in tune with our environment. You may notice things that bring you wonder like the taste of a delicious meal, the green on the trees, or how the wind feels on your face.


When you practice meditation, you should first sit somewhere quiet where you are not distracted. Close your eyes and take deep breaths lasting three to four seconds. If your negative thoughts are coming up, do not fight them. Instead, let them pass and return again to the present moment. You can visualize your thoughts floating away or repeat a phrase to remind you of the present. Guided meditations can come in the form of YouTube videos or free apps to try.


3. Perform Self-Care


It is easy to focus only on the pain you are going through. Thinking only about your pain can stop you from taking care of yourself. Self-care is all about treating yourself with kindness and care. You can try writing in a self-care journal about all the things you like about yourself and the good things that people have done for you. You can also give yourself a warm bath with soothing music in the background. Make sure to eat right, sleep for seven to eight hours, and exercise to keep your body moving. People will love you more once you love yourself more.


If your trauma is still latching onto you despite these tips, speak to a therapist immediately. You will be given the tools to move forward and enjoy your life with positive people. Read more about trauma therapy and contact us soon for your first appointment.

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