How Grief Can Change Us And Ways To Manage It
Grieving is a journey. Even when other people say we should be over the loss, we’re not. No two people experience grief the same way, and how you learn to cope will fundamentally change how you move through the world.
What is grief?
Grief is a human response to loss or another significant change. We all experience grief at some point in our lives. While grief is an emotion we typically attribute to the death of a family member, friend, or partner, the causes of grief are much more wide-ranging. In addition to the death of a loved one, grief can also be caused by:
the loss of a pet
divorce or the end of a relationship
a diagnosis of a chronic or terminal illness
infertility or miscarriage
work changes, such as unemployment or retirement
moving to a new environment
Everyone reacts differently to loss. You might feel shock, anger, sadness, depression, numbness, denial, disbelief, guilt, fear, or other emotions. Most likely, you won’t feel these in a linear progression. You may even feel multiple emotions at once. It’s possible you’ll also show physical signs of grief. Some of these issues include digestive problems, sleep disturbances, bodily pain, nausea, fatigue, and a lowered immune response. Grief is a complex process.
How grief changes you
Soon after a loss, your routine will change. You may find yourself playing a new role in other people’s lives. Your relationships will take on a new dimension.
In the long term, grief can have complex effects. If you cannot move on, you might withdraw further from friends and family. If you take the steps to learn from this loss, you will gain new inner strength and adjust to these changes. There are a few ways to manage your grief in both the short and long term.
Give space for emotions
Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Even if time has passed, you’re still allowed to cry if you need to. Don’t stick to an arbitrary timeline someone else has imposed on you. Grief is a diverse experience, and listening to your mind and body will help you get through the process in a healthy way.
Do things for yourself
Be gentle with yourself. Make time to eat healthy and get enough sleep and exercise. Eventually, after you’ve gotten back to a routine, think about ways to branch out. It can be hard in your darkest emotional moments but try to create new positive memories. When you forge ahead with new positive experiences, you’re better able to carve out your identity while creating meaning after this loss.
Mark anniversaries
Anniversaries can be huge triggers. Make a plan to mark significant dates with a simple ceremony or private ritual, either with yourself or with a few trusted people. This could be playing a special song, making a certain meal, placing flowers on a grave, or lighting a candle in your home.
Keep a journal
A journal can be a way for you to privately express your grief. It’s also a space where you can pause and evaluate your feelings, your decisions, and things going on around you. Since the grieving process can cloud your decision-making skills, writing things down can also help you think about any major life changes you’re going through.
Connect with others
After a big loss, it might feel easier to withdraw rather than socialize. But it’s important to nurture the relationships you still have. Find trusted people to share your emotions with. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Talk to a therapist
Grief should be a transformative process. Grief-focused counseling can help you learn to live despite your loss. A therapist can help you find new ways to honor and remember your loved one, relationship, or pet while still leading a fulfilling life.
To find out more about how grief therapy can guide you, please reach out to us.
