How Does A Divorce Impact A Man?
Divorce is one of the most stressful life events someone can go through. Nobody plans for it—marriage is assumed to be forever. Divorces are emotionally draining, distressing, and oftentimes introduce chaos that replaces routines. While women and men are both affected by the upheaval of divorce, men can have unique issues that aren’t discussed as often. As they go through the divorce, men need to prioritize their mental and emotional wellbeing so they can grieve and move past the relationship in a healthy way.
Men might feel more isolated
Men tend to have less of a social support system than women do. Because they rely on their wives for emotional support, so they’re left without it when the relationship ends. Depending on the circumstances of the divorce, women tend to garner more sympathy while men often bear the brunt of the blame for the relationship ending. People assume men will “man up” and move on quickly, therefore not needing as much emotional support through the divorce process.
Men tend to bottle up their emotions
Because men don’t usually confide in friends or family, or seek therapy, they aren’t in tune with their emotions. After the divorce, they don’t grieve the relationship—they might not even see it as something to grieve. The other men in his life also might not encourage him to seek therapy. When these emotions remain inside and aren’t understood, they can lead to anxiety, depression, and trauma responses. Down the line, these emotions can have wide-ranging consequences on both mental and physical health as well as the ability to form new relationships.
Divorce can lead to physical and mental illness
When a marriage ends, men’s health tends to decline. Their partners may have nudged them toward seeing a doctor despite their reluctance. Without that reminder and with the added stress of the divorce itself, their health suffers. Divorced men have higher rates of heart disease and stroke. They may rapidly gain or lose weight or have trouble sleeping and have issues with their immune responses. Divorced men are also more likely to develop substance abuse disorder and attempt suicide. These can all be influenced and compounded by anxiety and depression.
Men see less of their children
Custody battles are stressful. Divorce puts the needs of the children front and center. Women are more highly considered in custody disputes, meaning the stress of childcare also predominantly falls on them. Men might view this time as a loss of their children as well as their relationship. This change in fatherhood can contribute to them feeling a loss of identity as well.
Tips for coping with stress after a divorce
Make time to grieve
Like losing a loved one, a relationship ending needs to be grieved. Let yourself feel your feelings. Don’t rush into a new relationship as a bandage for your loneliness.
Lean on friends and family
Don’t be afraid to be open and ask for help. If you’re feeling lonely and isolated, reach out for get-togethers with friends.
Stay healthy
Prioritize your health by eating fresh foods, sleeping regularly, and getting exercise outside the house. It might be tempting to lay in bed all day or order takeout for every meal, but it’s important to create a healthy routine and stick to it.
See a therapist
In therapy, you’ll learn to understand and embrace your emotions. Your therapist can guide you through this grieving process and lead you to a new area of self-discovery. When you heal from the end of this relationship, you’re better prepared to enter a new one.
To find out more about how depression therapy can help men cope with divorce, please reach out to us.
